election

People are always asking me if they should divorce. My stock answer is that the decision to divorce is personal and that I am not qualified to make that decision for the client or even make a recommendation. Everybody has a different view of what a good marriage should look at and it is not mine to Judge. I do when the reasons for divorce seem like an argument that will blow over or the parties are older ask the client to think about options and give it a week to let things settle down and the realities of Divorce hit home. I am aware that not all marriages are built to last and that happiness like beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Having said that I do have some views of my own about when a Divorce makes sense and when it does not. I am not a mental health professional. I am a lawyer who has practiced in this field for most of my career after a near-death experience ( from boredom) as a tax lawyer.

Often the decision to Divorce has been made by your spouse and you really have no option but if the choice is yours here are some things to think about. If you are in a destructive relationship and your spouse is physically or mentally abusing you should get out. Abusive people do not change. It is not your fault. If your spouse cheats on you and you will only reconcile if they don’t stop cheating now and forever and you can not live with a spouse who keeps cheating, get a divorce. My experience shows that once a cheater always a cheater.

If your marriage leaves you so unhappy that each day is drudgery or you find yourself wishing you were dead so the marriage can be over get the divorce. There is life on the other side.

The holiday season is upon us and with it comes the joy and at times the tribulation and challenges of family gatherings. This year the holidays might be configured a bit differently than in past years. Uncle Charlie might be participating by Zoom and Aunt Ruth may be sporting her signature mask. This year offers new challenges both because of the pandemic and the Presidential election. Very few of us are neutral regarding issues of: voter fraud, election interference, or the quality and character of candidates. Some of us are Republican, others Democrats or perhaps Independents. We all have an opinion and most of us have voted. In a democracy, our job as citizens is to vote. Once we have voted the outcome of the election is left to the States and if contested to the Courts and the Legislature.

As ordinary citizens, we really have nothing after voting to add to the process. No matter how loud you yell at FOX or CBS nothing Is going to change. It is like a football game you may get caught up in cheering on your team but your cheers have very little to do with the outcome. Biden or Trump will ultimately prevail because of the vote and whatever legal process follows. By Christmas, the die will clearly be irrevocably cast and your support or distress or discourse at family gatherings will not move the needle even a little bit.

Out Republic has been around 244 years and will survive the incumbency of either candidate. Politicians and the Press always say this is the most important election of our time. Maybe they are right this time that is a question to debate just not at the Holiday table.

Articles Posted in election

Should I get Divorced?

2020 Election v. Holiday Cheer