Articles Posted in Parenting Time

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In 2014, the New Jersey divorce statute, NJSA 2A: 34-23 as it pertains to the issue of spousal support or alimony was substantially modified. One such modification dealt with the vexing question of what the duration or term of the obligation to pay alimony should be. While a prior amendment to the statute had afforded courts the ability to award “limited duration” alimony, the lack of specific standards of under what circumstances this would apply, or for how long, versus an awarding of “permanent” alimony, led to divergent interpretations and applications by the courts. The Legislature sought to bring clarification to this issue when it included the following language to NJSA 2A: 34-23(c):pexels-rodnae-productions-6670068-229x300

“For any marriage or civil union less than 20 years in duration, the total duration of alimony shall not, except in exceptional circumstances, exceed the length of the marriage or civil union.”

Hence, for a marriage of over 20 years, the duration of a possible alimony award was left “open”, and subject to the discretion of the trial court, applying the statutory factors and other legal principles to the facts and circumstances of a given case. Hence the development of what has been come to be known as “open duration alimony” for marriages in excess of 20 years.

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Dear Santa:pexels-cottonbro-6140236-200x300

I know I wrote to you in October asking you for just a few things for Christmas. I know you are busy and that kids all over the world need you more than ever. I was looking forward to Christmas when Uncle Harry always come dress like you and my sister plays carols on the piano. I just want to let you know that I would like to change my Christmas list. It’s not that I do not like Transformers or Batman. I love them! It’s just that things have changed around here. Mom and Dad’s fighting has gotten a lot worse. I know they think they are keeping it from me but I hear them fighting and I see the way they look at each other. I heard Dad say he wants a Divorce and mom said she did too. I know what Divorce is My friend Tom’s parents got divorced last year. Tom did not see his Dad for a long time until he was asked a lot of questions by some Doctors. He was scared. I don’t mind if Mom and Dad divorce. If they Divorce like my friend June. Her parents divorced but did not fight over her and were nice to each other. June sees her mom and dad all the time and they even go to her soccer games. She says nothing is that different she sees her mom and dad and she likes that there is no more fighting in the house. So here is what I would like. I want mom and Dad to stop fighting. I want them to be happy. I do not want them to fight over me and I want to see both of them Dad was sick this year and Dad said mom was the best nurse and told me what a great mother I had. Mom said that Dad was a hard worker and I should appreciate all the things he did to make our family better. Could you please remind them about that? I know that usually, you give kids like me toys and that you have a magical workshop. It’s

really the magic I am looking for this year. So what I really want for Christmas is for my mom and dad to calm down. When I get upset my Dad always says calm down buddy and my mom gives me a hug. That really works. Maybe you could give my mom a magic hug and tell my dad to calm down. I figure they would listen to you. I told my sister who is really big that I was going to write to you. She said it was a great idea and she would get it to you or your elves. She said she would like mom and dad to calm down too. I see her cry sometimes so I know she is sad. We are usually happy this time of year even mom and dad. We didn’t decorate the tree together we did it with mom and dad sat in the room by himself. I could see mom was being brave like she tells me to be when I get a shot. Every year we drive around the neighborhood looking for tacky lights this year mom had a headache and didn’t go. It wasn’t as much fun cause mom laughs through her nose when things get funny. I know things will be different now. But it could be nice different that would be best. And if you think I should have the transformers and batman too that would be great. I have been very good.

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covid19-300x200Co-parenting children when parents are separated or divorced can be challenging in normal circumstances.  One would agree, however, that times are not normal.  The country is in the midst of a pandemic due to the COVID-19 virus.  Governor Murphy has closed schools and many business, and he has directed that we engage in “social distancing” and stay at home for the indefinite future.

Families all over the State are concerned about their children’s health and well-being, not to mention family finances due to the number of people who have lost jobs, been furloughed or suffered from cuts in pay or hours.  Existing arrangements for custody and parenting time were designed for normal circumstances, not necessarily for unprecedented times such as these.

Questions may arise as to how  separated parents address custody, parenting time and child support issues.  To what extent do existing orders have to be followed? Generally, many existing agreements or orders for parenting time can and should be followed.  However, can a parent withhold or refuse parenting time?  What happens if a parent or child is exposed to the coronavirus or is at heightened risk of exposure?  What if a parent, child or family member begins to exhibit symptoms?  How should parents accommodate a household that has an elderly family member or a family member with a health condition which makes COVID-19 particularly deadly?  What if one of the parents lives out of state and the child has to travel some extended distance?  What if the households do not have the same social distancing practices?   Can both parents’ homes accommodate educating the children while school is closed?  Should parenting time be modified to reflect that both parents are home more either due to having lost their jobs or they are working from home?

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Various blogs have been written by members of our firm about situations where a custodial parents IMG_1930-300x225wants to move with the parties’ children to a state other than New Jersey.   Can a custodial parent live wherever he/she wants within the State of New Jersey?  Can a non-custodial parent ask a New Jersey family court just to stop a custodial parent from moving with the children to another town or city within the State of New Jersey?

Certainly some parents have reached an agreement with one another that they will live within a certain proximity to one another where they feel that it is in their own best interest for their children to live in certain areas of New Jersey or for the parents to live within a certain proximity to one another in order for their custody and parenting time agreement to work out.   New Jersey has a public policy of enforcing settlement agreements where they are fair and equitable.

What if parents do not have such an agreement?  Can the non-custodial parent prevent the custodial parent from living anywhere within the state of New Jersey that the custodial parent wants to live? In 2003, the Appellate Division addressed this question in the case of Schulze v. Morris, 361 N.J. Super. 419 (2003).  In this case, the parties had both been living in Middlesex County, New Jersey, but after the custodial parent was denied tenure at her teaching position, she found another teaching job in Sussex County and wanted to move with the parties’ child to Sussex County.  The non-custodial parent filed an Order to Show Cause seeking to stop the custodial parent from moving with the parties’ child to Sussex County.   The Appellate Division concluded that a custodial parent’s request to move to a different place within the State of New Jersey is not a “removal” action pursuant to N.J.S.A. 9:2-2 for which the custodial parent has to obtain the permission of the Court.   However,  the Appellate Division recognized that a custodial parent’s move with a child can have significant impact on the relationship between the child and the non-custodial parent and that there are occasions where an intrastate relocation can constitute a substantial change in circumstance warranting a modification of the custody and parenting time arrangement.   When a noncustodial parent opposes an intrastate relocation of the child(ren) but the custodial parent on the basis that the move will be “deleterious to the relationship between the child and the non-residential custodial parent, or will be otherwise inimical to the child’s best interests”, then the Appellate Division in Schultze directed that the family court had to assess the factors in Baures v. Lewis, 167 N.J. 91 (2001), an interstate relocation case.

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In enacting New Jersey statute, N.J.S.A. 9:2-2, the Legislature established a mechanism and25ebc4898eb30bc0cd7290a9cc18a32e-300x200 procedure for a divorced or unmarried parent when seeking to move with one’s children outside the state of New Jersey.  The statute provides:

“When the Superior Court has jurisdiction over the custody and maintenance of the minor children of parents divorced, separated or living separate, and such children are natives of this State, or have resided five years within its limits, they shall not be removed out of its jurisdiction against their own consent, if of suitable age to signify the same, nor while under that age without the consent of both parents, unless the court, upon cause shown, shall otherwise order. The court, upon application of any person in behalf of such minors, may require such security and issue such writs and processes as shall be deemed proper to effect the purposes of this section.”

The Courts in New Jersey have on several occasions interpreted this statute to address the standard for the family courts to apply when one parent wants to move out of New Jersey with the parties’ children, and the other parent objects to the children making such a move.   We addressed this standard in a previous blog with regard to parents having a shared 50/50 custodial arrangement based on the decision of the Appellate Division in Bisbing v. Bisbing, 445 N.J. Super. 207 (App.Div. 207), affirmed in part, modified, 230 N.J. 309  (2017).  In another blog, we addressed the standard for relocation based on the factors outlined in Baures v. Lewis, 167 N.J. 91 (2001).  In those cases,  before the children were removed from New Jersey, an application was made by the parent seeking to move.  Does that have to be the procedure?  Can the parent make that application after the move?  Is it the obligation of the objecting parent to make an application objecting to the children’s removal from New Jersey?

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It is not uncommon as a family law practitioner to experience a difference in the way the family courts handle cases involving the children of divorced or divorcing spouses (where they are 772bcf531a8ff5549f90c16a75fd1d7f-1-300x200matrimonial cases bearing an “FM” docket number) in the dissolution unit, and children of non-married parents in the non-dissolution unit (those bearing a docket number starting in “FD”).  Non-dissolution cases are typically far more summary in fashion and are handled more quickly than they are in the in the cases of divorcing parents.   The good part of this is that the children’s cases may be processed more quickly and there is less uncertainty in their lives because the children are not enduring a longer, more drawn out litigation than children of divorcing parents sometimes have to survive.  In non-dissolution cases, however, because they often are so summary, the court does not have the opportunity to become as familiar with the facts and circumstances.

In the recently published Appellate Division opinion in the matter of J.G. v. J.H., A-1312-17 (App. Div. Jan. 2, 2019) expressed some disagreement over how summarily a family court judge resolved a custody dispute between unmarried parents.

John was born in 2012 to mother Jane and father Joseph.  In 2014 the parties entered into a non-dissolution order that provided for their agreement to share joint legal custody of John, with Jane having primary residential custody and Joseph having liberal visitation with him.  In 2015 the parties attempted to reconcile and vacated that order.  The reconciliation did not last.  Jane became engaged to another man and became pregnant.  Joseph filed an order to show cause accusing Jane and her fiance of drug use and asserting that she should not leave John alone with her fiance, asserting that he was a known drug user and convicted felon.  Joseph was awarded temporary sole custody of John based on the concern for violence in Jane’s home. The court directed that Jane’s visitation with John be supervised and that it occur outside her home.

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For family law attorneys, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas . . . fights over holiday parenting time.  The holiday season is often a time of stress, and sometimes of sadness, for everyone.  ForDSC05380-200x300 separating or divorcing parents or newly divorced parents, fighting over how to divide holiday time with their children, there is additional sadness and distress.   Every year as a matrimonial attorney I see the stress on separating couples and their children as they either try to adhere to traditional holiday celebrations for the sake of their  children, or as they try to adjust with their children to the inevitable new traditions that are going to have to be made as parents separate and cannot spend the full holiday season with they traditionally would, but have to share it.  The stress can be additional as grandparents weigh in and wish to spend time with their grandchildren, and when one or both parents begin new relationships that pulls on them or whispers in their ear at holiday time as well.

How can you avoid some of the pitfalls of disputes with your “ex” that can derail the holidays with your children?  Here, are a few tips:

  1.   Consider the stress and worry that you and your ex are putting the children under when you argue about holiday parenting time.   Parents usually want Christmas to be a magical time for the children.   It is not magical when they are aware that their parents are fighting over them.  Also, children often come to feel that they are the cause or the source of what their parents are arguing over.  This can create needless feelings of guilt, worry and unhappiness that can ruin the holidays for them.
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A frequent post-divorce concern or criticism often heard from the parent who has primary residential custody of child is that their former partner does not exercise their parenting time and thatvisitation-300x200 the failure of their partner to keep to the schedule has negative monetary and lifestyle implications. I have always viewed a failure to exercise parenting time as a matter that needed to be addressed economically.   Many matrimonial attorneys and judges, however, relying on a 2006 case encaptioned J.S. v. L.S, 389 N.J. Super. 200 (App.Div. 2006), have opined that the failure a parent to exercise parenting time did not give rise to a right for economic relief. Continue reading ›

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When custody disputes arise, I often consider the Biblical narrative, 1 Kings 3:16-28,  which tells the story of how King Solomon resolved a custody dispute of sorts between two women who lived 296050aba1c021ff4a7e4cab0ed498d2-3-300x200 in the same home.  The women came before King Solomon, each claiming to be the mother of the same baby boy.   King Solomon called for a sword and rendered his judgment:  He would cut the baby in two so that each woman could receive half.  The first woman did not contest Solomon’s decision, arguing that if she could not have the baby, then neither woman could.  The second woman begged King Solomon to give the baby to the other woman instead of killing the baby. King Solomon declared the second woman as the infant’s true mother, reasoning that as a mother she would give up the baby if she had to in order to save his life. Continue reading ›

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More and more women are choosing to exclusively breastfeed given the reports as to the superior health benefits, not just physically but psychologically, of breast feeding.  Arranging parenting file000956778186-225x300 time between divorced or separated parents of a child who is still breastfeeding poses issues not just with overnight parenting time but daytime parenting time as well. Children who are exclusively breast-fed may reject a bottle.  Nevertheless, there is an argument that the child should be given breast milk from a bottle during parenting time. After all, not only should the child receive the best nutrition, but also facilitating a relationship with the father at the earliest age possible is in the child’s best interest. Continue reading ›